Wiz of Awes
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Washington Wizards Might Be The Most Uninteresting Team In The NBA

By Ben Mehic

Jan 20, 2016; Washington, DC, USA; Miami Heat guard Josh Richardson (0) drives to the basket as Washington Wizards center Nene Hilario (42) defends during the first half at Verizon Center. Mandatory Credit: Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports
Jan 20, 2016; Washington, DC, USA; Miami Heat guard Josh Richardson (0) drives to the basket as Washington Wizards center Nene Hilario (42) defends during the first half at Verizon Center. Mandatory Credit: Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports /
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Washington Wizards Are Super Uninteresting

Remember how bad the JaVale McGee, Andray Blatche and Nick Young days were? I hated those teams because they sucked. But, they were fun. We tuned in to watch JaVale run the opposite way, to watch Dray pretend he’s a guard and we tuned to watch Swaggy P chuck his way to 30 points.

Those teams weren’t likeable and certainly produced a bad brand of basketball, but at least they were kind of fun and entertaining.

This year, the Washington Wizards are anything but entertaining. They’re boring, dry and super uninteresting.

John Wall — bless his heart — is doing all he can to keep our interest.

He’s attempting 360-layups for no reason, he’s throwing up bad shots from deep occasionally and he’ll even dive into the crowd for a loose ball every now and then. The 3-time All-Star is all the Washington Wizards have, but sadly, it’s not enough to generate consistent interest.

The Wizards have become more of a chore than washing dishes. I seriously almost rather shovel the snow from my driveway than watch them continue to lose.

A few weeks ago, our crew had a private discussion on Twitter about the most boring team in the NBA and the Wizards popped up. I’ll concede: the Brooklyn Nets are by far the most boring team in the NBA and it’s really not even close. But if we take them out of the equation, how many teams in the NBA are less interesting than the Wizards? It’s tough to think of any, really.

Over the past several years, the Wizards haven’t exactly been producing a ton of highlights, but at least they were winning.

Boring but successful basketball is acceptable. Marcin Gortat refused to dunk, Paul Pierce played like your 55-year-old uncle and Trevor Ariza got paid millions to just hit corner 3-point shots. The Wizards weren’t the Golden State Warriors, but they were winning games.

This season hasn’t been that way.

We expected the Washington Wizards to not only continue to win, but to become a bit more fun to watch. Small-ball, after all, is based on increased pace-and-space — two factors that play a large role in the fun-level of basketball.

The Wizards were only kind-of fun at the beginning of the season, but now that Randy Wittman has gone back to playing his traditional lineups, the team has had all of their fun sucked out of them. Now, not only are they boring to watch, but they’re getting blown out. Want to watch two unathletic big men who are well past their primes play together? The Wizards have that.

Next: The Anatomy of the Perfect NBA Point Guard

Nowadays, Bradley Beal‘s mask might be the most interesting thing in Washington. It’s a boring time to be a Wizards fan and the only way to change it is to, well, make some changes.

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