Washington Wizards: A Festivus for the Rest of Us
‘Tis the season of giving, being around loved ones and spreading holiday cheer. While many people will be celebrating Christmas in the next few days, there’s one holiday that’s flying under the radar. For Washington Wizards fans, it’s a holiday that culminates from an underachieving start in the District.
I’ll start with a story that happened many Christmases ago. Once upon a time, a man named Frank Costanza went Christmas shopping in hopes of buying a doll for his son George. In his efforts, he reached for the last doll the store had, but so did another man. Instinctively, Frank rained blows upon him. Subsequently, Frank realized that there had to be another way and barbarism wasn’t the answer.
Ultimately, the doll was destroyed that day. But out of that, a new holiday was born. A Festivus for the rest of us!
So what does this holiday entail? I’m glad you asked. For starters, there is no tree needed. Instead, all you’ll need is an aluminum pole and it will be dubbed the Festivus Pole. No decoration is required and frankly, tinsel is too damn distracting anyways.
Next, you’ll need to gather your family, friends, and loved ones for dinner. While there is no set menu, Festivus dinner does require the participants to at least have meatloaf as a dish.
After dinner, the main festivities begin with the Airing of Grievances, followed by the Feats of Strength and no Festivus would be complete without a Festivus miracle.
Now, before you leave this page because you have no idea what I’m talking about, allow me to explain. The made-up holiday Festivus stems from the hit sitcom series about nothing, Seinfeld.
In episode 166 “The Strike” that aired on NBC on December 18, 1997, the made-up holiday took a life of its own and was an instant classic in the popular TV series. The unorthodox, yet relatable, aspects of this made-up holiday make it perfect to address all the ups, downs and look ahead to the rest of the season for the Wizards.
Without further ado, let us finally dive into the festivities and begin our Washington Wizards Festivus for the rest of us.