Washington Wizards: Breaking Down the Wizards Killers

Apr 4, 2015; Memphis, TN, USA; Memphis Grizzlies forward Jeff Green (32) is boxed in by Washington Wizards forward Otto Porter (22) and guard John Wall (2) during the second quarter at FedExForum. Mandatory Credit: Nelson Chenault-USA TODAY Sports
Apr 4, 2015; Memphis, TN, USA; Memphis Grizzlies forward Jeff Green (32) is boxed in by Washington Wizards forward Otto Porter (22) and guard John Wall (2) during the second quarter at FedExForum. Mandatory Credit: Nelson Chenault-USA TODAY Sports /
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The Washington Wizards have a history of getting torched by players who likely aren’t atop the scouting report. Here’s a breakdown of the Wizards Killers.

Wizards Killers. We all know who they are. They are yet another thorn in the side of Washington Wizards fans – a thorn that reminds us of the Wizards’ place in the NBA landscape.

They are a phenomenon, a growing class of NBA players ranging from back end of the roster reserves to All-Stars.

Watching a Wizards Killer take the floor and get into GOAT mode is as helpless a feeling for fans as waiting in line at the MVA, perhaps even more-so because a Wizards Killer, while predictable, would probably fit the profile of an anomaly if we were in the Matrix.

What characteristics define a Wizards Killer? Let’s start with place in the league.

Wizards Killers may graduate to All-Stardom but they don’t start off that way. In fact, the Washington Wizards play a large role in catapulting the careers of Wizards Killers and giving them an aura of confidence that propels them for the rest of their career.

A Wizards Killer starts off the game hot and ends the game that way.

They make their presence known immediately by making uncharacteristic 3-point shots to start the game and end up making a contested “back-breaker” before all is said and done. (The silver lining for us: we get memorable “not possible” calls from our very own Steve Buckhantz.)

A Wizards Killer will follow-up his performance against Washington by quickly reverting back to who they are,which makes their existence that much more painful to watch.

So who are these Wizards Killers?

The “You’ve got to be kidding me” Wizards Killers:

Shelvin Mack

Yes, the Shelvin Mack, who is the sole member of Washington’s 2011 draft class still in the NBA, has turned into a Wizards Killer.

The same player who was having a difficult time getting Washington’s Vegas Summer League team into offensive sets in 2012 is now able to drive by and score on John Wall at will. 

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Against Washington and Wall, a player he backed up, Mack is an unstoppable force, scoring a career high 27 points against Washington this past season.

Unlike other Wizards Killers, this one stings more since he was drafted by this team.

At just 26-years-old and with Jan Vesely and Chris Singleton out of the NBA, this Wizards Killer has the potential to be a painful reminder of a draft gone painfully wrong twice a season for the foreseeable future.

Career Average versus the Washington Wizards:

10 ppg, 4.6 apg, 44.1% FG, 33.3% 3-Pt

Career Average:

6.1 ppg, 3 apg, 42.1% FG, 32.4% 3-Pt

C.J. Miles

CJ Miles is a player who has had some good games in his career, but let me ask you something: have you ever seen Miles miss a 3-point shot in the Verizon Center?

Probably not. And if you said “yes,” I may have to administer a polygraph test.

It hasn’t mattered if it’s Martell Webster, Otto Porter, Paul Pierce, or even a strong defensive player like Trevor Ariza, Miles has always lit up the scoreboard.

When the offseason comes along and Miles is a free agent, Washington Wizards fans routinely think, “why not this guy, he’s good.”

Career Average versus the Washington Wizards:

11.1 ppg, 2.7 rpg, 42.2% FG, 38.2% 3-Pt

Career Average:

9.7 ppg, 2.4 rpg, 41.6% FG, 35.2% 3-Pt

Jeff Green

Jeff Green is the definition of consistently inconsistent, except seemingly against the Washington Wizards.

Green is a talented player who just hasn’t lived up to expectations nor his talent level.

Every team he joins thinks they’re going to be the one to make him realize his potential but it never happens.

So why the success versus Washington? Is it the coming home factor for the local product or just bad luck?

Based on the Wizards history, I lean towards bad luck or Curse of Les Boulez for all anomalies including “Good” Jeff Green’s routine appearances at the Verizon Center.

Career Average versus the Washington Wizards:

15.6 ppg, 5.3 rpg, 43.6% FG, 29.6% 3-Pt

Career Average

14 ppg, 4.9 rpg, 43.8% FG, 33.9% 3-Pt

*To note; while Jeff’s Green’s stats aren’t considerably better versus Washington, you get these types of moments that just don’t seem to happen elsewhere:

D.J. Augustin

D.J. Augustin is the rare case of a Wizards Killer who was slowed down.

As a reserve against Washington, Augustin was giving Wall a hell of a time in the 2014 NBA Playoffs.

Fortunately for Washington, Playoff Randy Wittman made an appearance and assigned  Ariza the task of shutting down Augustin, which he did. 

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Ariza is no longer a Wizard though and the Wizards had a recurrence of Augustin, the Wizards Killer, late this past season in Denver.

Augustin helped trigger a 41-15 fourth quarter trouncing of the Washington Wizards which helped erase what was a nine-point Denver deficit with 10 minutes remaining.

That performance was infuriating as Denver scored playing simple pick-and-roll offense on nearly every possession.

The main lesson taken from that?

You cannot eradicate being a Wizards Killer from a person’s genetic code. It will sit there dormant, but when circumstances allow, it will come back with a vengeance.

Career Average versus the Washington Wizards:

10.4 ppg, 3.9 apg, 42.7% FG, 45% 3-Pt

Career Average:

9.8 ppg, 4 apg, 40.4% FG, 37.4% 3-Pt

The Graduates:

Gerald Henderson

Gerald Henderson is a mediocre player.

He had a down year in Portland but still mustered up enough to be a Wizards Killer yet again during a late season west coast trip.

After a brief skirmish with Alan Anderson and nearly getting ejected, Henderson managed to stay in the game while Anderson was kicked out for a shorthanded Wizards’ team.

That alone would have been a good enough contribution from Henderson but he went on to score 12 points, which is three more than his season average.

Did I forget to mention that he made a game-saving block against Marcin Gortat on the Wizards’ final possession of the fourth quarter where he basically jumped through the basket?

Well take note, because Wizards Killers are like strength shoes – where an extra 4-8 inches on your vertical leap is guaranteed.

Career Average versus the Washington Wizards:

12.6 ppg, 3.9 rpg, 47.8% FG, 40% 3-Pt

Career Average:

11.5 ppg, 3.3 rpg, 44.2% FG, 31.9% 3-Pt

Isaiah Thomas

Since Isaiah Thomas entered the league, Washington Wizards fans have been accustomed to  Wall’s complete inability to stay in front of the diminutive guard.

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Is there anything more frustrating than watching the last pick in the draft become unguardable versus the first pick in that same draft?

It stings a little less now as Thomas has established himself as an All-Star in Boston.

Does he realize the role Washington played in his development, though?

Will he be the graduate who comes back and teaches the next generation how to use the Wizards to catapult themselves towards stardom?

This particular Wizards Killer’s impact has reached beyond the hardwood as he played a role in Al Horford’s recruitment to the Boston Celtics, and furthermore, he will be a player to reckon with as Boston is seemingly on the verge of turning into a contender in the East.

Career Average versus the Washington Wizards:

19.6 ppg, 6.1 apg, 42.9% FG, 36.7% 3-Pt

Career Average:

17.1 ppg, 5 apg, 43.7% FG, 36.2% 3-Pt

And lastly….The Head Coach

Next: Bradley Beal Has No More Excuses Left

Damon Jones: for none other than this – the most painful ending to a game I’ve ever seen in person.